New Doctor’s Appointments be like…

Hi – this was just a quick video on what’s on my mind this morning. My normal content is normally around salicylate sensitivity and education on that. If you deal with chronic health issues maybe check out some of the resources.

This video focuses on the frustration of finding doctors who can help you manage chronic illness without being dismissive. You want to look good enough to not be a hot mess, but not so good, you don’t look sick enough.


Provided for easy translation


optometrist, wellbutrin, levodopa, appointment, dopamine, doctor, told, eyes, perfectly healthy, people, progressives, issues, sick, spasm, upset, prescription, feel, period, helicobacter pylori, horrible

Hey guys, it’s Sarah. I’m just getting ready to go to a new doctor’s appointment. Like, the doctor is new to me… And I was just thinking and wondering what you guys how you guys think or like what you guys do, because I know that you guys, most of my audience is our people who have lived with chronic illness. And there’s been so many times that we’ve been told that it’s in our head.

But here’s the thing, like, you go see the physical doctor, and they’re like, oh, yeah, we don’t know what’s wrong with you, you have too many things wrong with you. So therefore, it must be in your brain. But then you go and see a psychiatrist or psychologist and they’re like, What do you eat? Like, how is your you know, they asked you a lot of physical questions, just to make sure that there’s nothing wrong with your body physically. And then, you know, at that point, they’re like, Well, no, nobody else is going to take care of you. So I guess we need to so that’s kind of where I am right now. And I am (my hair’s dripping).

That’s where I am right now. I’m actually on Wellbutrin. I’ve been on it for a month and I need to stop it. Because while it was really helpful to help with like scatterbrains, and focus, I really only saw the benefit for a week or two. But the onboarding of it was horrible. And then now I want to off-board, my primary says I need to take it really slow because of how I am boarded. But here’s the thing. I need to stop it because I’m having an issue with my dopamine or my levodopa. I’m having like double vision.

So today, I’m getting ready to go see my new optometrist. And it reminds me of how important first impressions are and how similar going into seeing a new doctor is to going on a first date, or going on a job interview, because these first impressions really matter.

When I was about 30, I went and saw a doctor. She was going to be my new primary care physician, and I only saw her two or three times. I think it was probably twice and then we had like an email interaction, but she literally told me – so my stomach was killing me. This was before I found out about my salicylates sensitivity, had all these reactions, and I was just really, really sick. Everything that I would eat. I already had been through the GI gamut, right. I’d been treated for Helicobacter pylori, like four to six years before that. I had traveled to Costa Rica, I had just all sorts of horrible stomach pain, and … just all sorts of symptoms. She told me that I looked like a “perfectly healthy young lady”, and she didn’t know what to do with me. That was my first appointment. I was so upset.

I did ask her to do bloodwork because I have chronically low vitamin D and iron. And so she at least pulled that and no surprise, I was deficient in both. So at least there was something that she could interact with me – that’s reason I think I had a like a appointment after that, like by email, they weren’t doing telemedicine then. So I did get some instructions for iron and vitamin D.

But that kind of thing drives me crazy. And I just think about my last optometrist. I’ve always had pretty good eyesight. I used to have like chronic dry eye and issues with that. And then I also had my blepharospasm, which is my dystonia where my eyes just close involuntarily for long periods of time. So I was having some issues from that, which basically make me kind of functionally blind. If my spasms are too strong, my eyes will be closed for too long of a period of time. So like, I couldn’t even drive without being medicated. They were so bad.

But the last optometrist I saw and you know, it’s like you have pretty good eyes, like I have a little astigmatism. I’m getting older. So I knew like my reading prescription needed to probably go up. But I was so dismissed. It was just for an eye appointment. All I wanted. I had already tried a progressive lens, and I used to work in optical like, I know, I know the jargon. I know the people, I know the prescriptions. I know like the getting used to it, but I was so dismissed. I got really upset. So I said that I didn’t want a progressive lens because I tried them. They made me very dizzy. And I was unable to use them at all like it was just so frustrating. And he basically told me that I needed to get used to it. Well I know that because I used to work in optical. I wore these glasses for six weeks and I was so sick from them and so frustrated I am here I spent my money and I still got the thing filled and like I have to remember what my body composition and the way it functions is really important.

When I went on a dopamine treatment with levodopa, this is my herbal supplement, I do have a pharmaceutical version of it. But this here it keeps my blepharospasm, my dystonia in check. And so supplementing with levodopa, not only helped my muscle spasms, but it helped all sorts of other things, including, like how I feel and the world around me, I used to bump into things all the time, I used to be really clumsy, you’d have hard time, you know, like dropping things all the time. And I, I know, that’s like just a normal, normal human trait. But it’s, it’s so amazing that when you accept it as just a normal human trait, you don’t realize like how bad it is for you until you start something else like dopamine. And all of a sudden, all of those problems went away. I have like so many fewer bruises now, like I don’t run into walls and doors as much and you know, I just feel so much better. So I think that’s one reason why I don’t like progressives as that place of view in the world is really affected, and it just doesn’t work with me.

So I told this doc, my last optometrist that I didn’t want progressives. And he still wrote, I asked him for bifocals, and he was like, you just need to practice with them. And I was like, I practice with the last one for six weeks. Well, anyway, I left the optometrist upset and felt like I was not heard and I left with a reading prescription and a progressives prescription.

Now it’s been like two or three years and I never got that progressive lens filled, and now I’m off to a new optometrist. Today, we’ll have plenty to talk about because of my double vision due to taking Wellbutrin. I’ve found both people with Parkinson’s and dopamine issues levodopa issues and then also people on Wellbutrin, which the reason I was willing to go on it is because it’s a dopamine reuptake inhibitor so I was hoping that it may help me with my muscle spasms and maybe I could take less levodopa. So, anyway, I have found case studies where people have been on Wellbutrin and they have double vision and they stop and then it goes away. So we’ll have plenty to talk about my new optometrist appointment.

But, Yeah, I’m just kind of nervous. I’ve, I’ve been so put off – and then some doctors are amazing. I have some amazing providers. And I will hang on to them until they quit. You know, I just, I don’t want to look is –  like you don’t want to look too healthy. Because then you’ll get the response. Right? I got you look like a perfectly healthy 30 year old woman is like, yeah, I wouldn’t be here asking you for help if I wasn’t, and then you don’t want to look like you’re too sick. And you have too many problems, because then you might be a hypochondriac. Or it might be in your head. Or it might be your period or your hormones or whatever. Ladies, I know. That’s a thing. So yeah, it’s like trying to find that sweet spot between like looking too good and looking too bad. And so yeah, that’s just the anxiety that I have about today’s doctor’s appointment. And if you’ve had any, any relatable stuff like that, leave it in the comments. I know that I I understand, and I am currently there. So that’s that’s what I’m doing today. Take care. Bye.